'Voltron: Languishing In Turnaround' Just Doesn't Have The Kick Of 'Defender Of The Universe'

· Voltron: Defender of the Universe, a movie based on the greatest single achievement in Toy-Commercial- Loosely-Dressed -Up-As -Saturday-Morning -Cartoon History, has been put into the dreaded turnaround until a more affordable means of convincingly depicting giant fucking robot lions is devised. [Variety]
· "Plunging sales, recession fears and spiking gasoline prices" are being blamed for GM's decision to pull out of sponsoring this year's Oscars, a polite way of saying, "Look—50-year-old gay men just don't buy heavy-duty trucks." [Variety]
·The Banana Splits—your grandparents' favorite cartoon rock band!—are making a big comeback in a "multiplatform effort" that will put them front and center on your cellphone wallpaper or something. [Variety]
·Cowboy Curtis Investigation is official: Lawrence Fishburne has signed on as the lead on CSI! Turn the black light on the Playhouse—there's bound to be some kind of evidence on Chairy's upholstery. [THR]
·Freaks and Geeks/Bones star and screenwriter John Francis Daley and his partner Jonathan Goldstein have been hiring to rewrite Burt Dickenson, Most Powerful Magician on the Planet Earth. Obviously, Judd Apatow was born with a talent-divining rod in his pants. [THR]

How 'Dark Knight' Will Sink 'Titanic' For All-Time Box-Office Glory

With its enshrinement as The Greatest Film Ever Made safely assured and its box-office trajectory soaring ever upward, The Dark Knight is now being groomed for a spot so exclusive that it only changes hands once per decade: The highest-grossing film in history. Feel free to take the news with a grain of salt, seeing as it came from the notably math-challenged John Horn in today's LA Times; even so, it's hard to argue when Knight is looking at $400 million by this weekend and Titanic sits idle at the dock with $600 million.

Seriously — $400 million in two weeks. But as we note after the jump, that last hurdle might be taller than it looks.

Ex-Stripper, Sadist Among 105 New Invitees to Join AMPAS

Progressive New Oscar Rules Prohibit More Than Two Losing Songs Per Movie

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences hopes you enjoyed the Enchanted three-fer nominated for last year's Best Song Oscar, because that was the last time a single film will receive more than two song nods in any given season — even if they're virtually guaranteed to lose against upstart Irish indies and/or pimp anthems. A rule change implemented Tuesday night says "there is no limit to the number of songs that may be submitted from a given film," but only two will get the dog-and-pony-show treatment on the Oscar telecast, thus saving the likes Amy Adams the indignity of going "stage commando" during their production numbers.

The outcry over Best Foreign-Language Film nominees appears to have subsided for the time being, however, with the honorary 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days Rule apparently ceding more control to the category's Executive Committee:

Oscar Nominees, Fans Held Hostage by Stupid 220-Year-Old American Tradition

The Oscar Glass is Half-Full For Spike Lee

Not an April Fool's Joke: Oscars Season is Apparently Upon Us

Visit Los Angeles: Home Of World's Largest Marion Cotillard Stalker Shrine

A Rare Glimpse At All The Fun You Missed At Madonna And Demi Moore's Oscar Party

We realize Academy Awards season seems light years away, but a series of photobooth-style pictures taken at Madonna and Demi Moore's A-to-the-power-of-A-list Oscars night bash have surfaced in Australian celebrity news magazine New Idea. (How they got their hands on them is a story unto itself, requiring a 28-inch dwarf to be smuggled into the proceedings via dessert cart, crawl inside the mechanized contraption, and collect the still-wet strips as quickly as they could be spit out.) In the snapshots, you can spy some of the world's most famous faces—your P. Diddys, your O.Bloomies—mugging shamelessly for the camera, usually in the vicinity of a twice-as-nutty Rumer Willis, who was allowed to join in on the fun after stepdad Ashton Kutcher offered some strong, "Yes, this is my daughter, now please step aside, rent-a-cop" words for ill-prepared event security.

• elflady.com via ONTD
• New Idea

Does Nicole Kidman Have The Meanest Publicist In Hollywood?

Publicists tend to be one of two things: boring, lips-sealed mouthpieces armed with "no comment" at every twist and turn or loud-mouthed toughies whose sole duty on this planet is to defend their Amazonian clients. Nicole Kidman, for better or worse, is repped by the latter: one Catherine Olim, who sent out a nasty rebuttal regarding NY Post columnist Cindy Adams' claims that knocked up Nic threw a few back at the Oscars. And despite our affection for long-time gossip Adams and her kookily nonsensical musings, we're officially on Team Olim after hearing this statement:

"I cannot remember that last time that Cindy Adams got anything right. She's an idiot, and you can quote me."

Amy Adams And David Letterman To Dim Bulb Lisa Rinna: You Should 'Be Fired'

No Country for Old Men was a great film. I'm not trying to say it was anything but spectacular. But I'm going to fucking take the Coen Brothers to task on something. Ready? WHY THE FUCK IS THERE JACK LINK'S BEEF JERKY SO PROMINENTLY PLACED IN SUCH A PIVOTAL SCENE?"

Heavily Hyped Showdown Between Aniston and Jolie Fails To Materialize

Poor Jennifer Aniston. After mustering up the courage to show up to a pre-Oscars party where she was supposed to finally come face-to-face with her man-stealing rival Angelina Jolie, the rug got swept out from under her when Jolie failed to show up for the event. But the glossies seem to be getting the angle all wrong. While Us paints Aniston as the victim (their hed: "Angelina Jolie continues to keep the power over Jennifer Aniston"), we have to disagree with their hypothesis. The tabs have relentlessly portrayed Aniston as a helpless single gal who can't catch a break, but the sheer fact that she dared show her face proves once and for all that Jen finally grew a pair. After all, for all Jolie's pre-show talk, when the time came for long-hyped matchup to go down, Angie couldn't walk the walk.

Buffalo News Team Not Exactly On The 'No Country' Express

If you've not yet heard the tale of the Buffalo news crew Oscar night gaffe, it goes something like this: Shortly after Best Director was announced, a technical mess-up caused the audio of a conversation between a local ABC news team to be broadcast to the general public. It's the content of that exchange, warranting a statement of apology from the network, that is truly hilarious. But we'll allow you to discover that on your own, in the footage above. Once you're done watching, we invite you to provide your own dismissive, nine-word synopses of any of this year's nominees.

• Alan Pergament: Ch. 7 error enlivens Oscars [buffalonews.com]
• WKBW Statement
• OSCAR OOPS [YouTube]

Joan and Melissa Rivers Relegated To Podcasting Their Red Carpet Barbs

The Oscars According To Courtney Love

While there were certainly no lack of internet destinations to service your Oscars liveblogging and post-morteming needs, none of those takes can really hold a candle to the punctuation- and sanity-free zone of Courtney Love's own MySpace wrap-up. We take you now directly to the Courtney Oscars Live Feed:

swank looked great, i bet that was Versace, she looke dgirly for the fiorst time in forever- im sad for PTA i love teh Coens but PTA well tehy shouldve let him release all 6 hours of There Will Be Blood cos thats what i bet there is of it, Kidman as anyone knows and me are not bffs by any stretch, and i though te edgy thing was cool but for some reason not onher- and her forehead is way too shiny it flips me out- iwas REALLY isnpired Diablo Cody won - that was fucking AWESOME in fact i think i just may have peed all over her My Space-

Even At The Oscars, Only A Bummed Cigarette Could Cool Katherine Heigl's Nerves

"It's finally over...I just need a cigarette."

Your 2008 Oscars in 120 Seconds

• WATCH VIDEO